Although abuse is a learned behavior, continuing that cycle is a choice. People who abuse often times grew up in abusive households or situations where abuse was common and that sort of behavior were the standard. However, there are also many people who were raised against those standards and chose to channel it in other ways in order to practice healthier relationships and to not fall victim to their past surroundings of unhealthy, disrespectful relationships. While growing up in abusive households is a common background of an abuser, it’s important to recognize that it did not cause their own behavior. This sort of behavior does not have an excuse and it shouldn’t be tolerated.
Domestic abusers obtain a desire to gain power and control over their partner. Abusers enjoy the feeling that they get when they practice this behavior and often lash out when they are unable to express it. Abusers feel that their needs should be met first and that their feelings are the priority in the relationship. They do not see a relationship as a two-way street. Therefore, they use their abusive practices to knock down their partner so that they can gain all the power in the relationship.
Why Do People Abuse? (n.d.). Retrieved April 17, 2016, from http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/why-do-people-abuse/